Happy Holidays! Take Care!

I find myself watching so many people struggling as the holiday season kicks into high gear. Some are facing serious financial difficulties. Or seeing relatives cause more stress than joy. Those happy holiday families depicted in movies bring more pressure to pretend that all's well when it isn't.

There's no easy answers. But the best ones come when you tell yourself the truth. Admit to loved ones that all those gifts are draining you dry. Your confession might be the one needed to bring about different traditions like gift grabs or give homemade gifts.

The same holds true for family. What's the point of going to these get-togethers when all it does is leave you stressed out and frazzled? Or enduring endless questions of why you're single. The time to devise a sane, coping strategy is now. Maybe it's time to cut back on the number of hours spent together. If you're single, begin your own traditions with a mix of old and new.

The same holds true with those grieving. Allow yourself to do as much as you're mentally able to handle. It's okay to cry while remembering that missing loved one. For example, if decoring the house is too overwhelming, find another way to celebrate like listening to favorite music. Try not to isolate yourself. Doing so could lead to deeper depression.

Celebrate where you are right now. There's so many experiences waiting to be enjoyed once you let go of holiday perfection. Treat yourself tenderly and lovingly every day during the holiday season. The lightness might be contageous.

Everyday Thanksgiving

It's so easy to emphasize one day as the only one to give thanks. But what if you took those principles and applied them daily?

Something to think about as you enjoy time relaxing over the holiday weekend. I know I am as I give thanks for all that I have and treasuring simple things.

I also remember those who face challenges I can't even imagine. For those who have lost hope, may they be blessed to rediscover vibrant living again. Protect those in war-torn countries. And for those drawing their last breath as I write this, may peace be theirs soon.

Now that I've done my reflecting, back to the laughter and visiting with people I've waited all year to talk with.

Marcie Eanes is the author of Sensual Sounds: A Collection. Available on http://www.amazon.com/ and http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

Gettting to Happy

Now is as good a time as any to face limited thinking in the cold harsh light of day. The year's coming to a close so what has it meant for you? Do you really want to bring more baggage on top of the stuff you've been carting around for years? Or finally lighten the load?

I'm im the process of eleminating people, activities, and everything else which keeps me locked in fear. The world throws out enough negativity in areas too numerous to mention. It's up to me to carve out productive areas by engaging in things which bring me joy. Exercising and not overeating are also important. Music soothes my jangled nerves or perks up my spirits. So does a good laugh.

Every day I meditate by lighting a candle and saying a prayer after reading a inspirational lesson. I'm getting better at journaling which is helping me unload my baggage. Journaling is something I've done since my birthday in April. My sisterfriend, Val, sent me a beautifully-bound, lined journal as a birthday gift. It gathered dust on my table/desk until October.

Antonio, another friend, talked to me about how I tend to keep too much bottled up inside and suggested I write about my fears for about ten minutes. At first I just rolled my eyes. However, God must've been thumping me in the head, because yet another friend said nearly the same thing. This time I stopped procrastinating. Now my spririt's beginning to feel much lighter. Or to borrow the title from Terry McMillan's book, I'm getting to happy. Time's on my side, so look out.


Marcie Eanes is the author of Sensual Sounds which is available on http://www.amazon.com/ and http://www:barnesandnoble.com/

Your Straight Male Friend: What’s in a (baby) Name?

Your Straight Male Friend: What’s in a (baby) Name?

Fan Mail

I love my fan mail. Nothing brightens my day quicker than opening a note and reading what's new with someone.

If you read last week's blog, you know I've been in a much physical pain. Doesn't help when a friend's insensitive comment implies that the hours I spend writing and promoting Sensual Sounds is wasted because it doesn't provide steady income. Nevermind the sales made through Facebook, amazon or barnesandnoble.com.

But the biggest grins crossed my face whenever someone takes time out of their day to tell me how my words affect them. My college friend, Myra, sent me a great note along with money to purchase Sensual Sounds. The other letter was from my friend's 13 year-old daughter, Elena, from California. She filled me in on life in middle school before asking me when was I going to finish my next book. Elena says my writing is interesting.

Some may think she's too young have such insight, but her mom, Lissett, has 'Caregiver's Prayer' and several works hanging in frames around their home. I even wrote a special poem to honor Elena's birth. And I wrote another piece just for her when I moved from Los Angeles to Racine nearly three years ago.

So I'm going back to work on another book, Ms. Elena. And when I'm done, you'll be the first to know. Thanks all those who take time to drop a note. They brighten my day in untold ways.

Sensual Sounds is available on http://www:amazon.com/ and http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

Daily Grace

"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound"....This week has been a long one. From knocking down obstacles to cast my vote Tuesday to dealing with unplanned expenses, there was endless opportunities to whine about the way each day was going.

The topper is being in physical pain from residual injuries sustained in a car accident when I was 23 years old and a newly minted college graduate. I hate when the weather turns cold and my body hurts so badly that even the simple act of waking up is the best I can manage to do.


After nearly 30 years of being in constant pain, it's still a struggle not to hold pity parties for myself. What keeps me sane is knowing that many people are praying for me, especially on the days I find it difficult to pray on my own.


My gift of writing is another way to cope. There have been periods where I didn't write a single word. But I'm blessed to have so many cheerleaders. My doctors are so excited whenever I tell them of my adventures with Sensual Sounds. We go over minute details of what I've been doing. Some questions are to make sure I'm not overtaxing myself. Other comment are to remind me not to take these opportunities for granted.

So much more helps me live with constant pain. Meditation, music and reminders to cut myself some slack are elixirs which save me from the edge. I also work through pain with daily exercise. Stretching and massages are the best. So are good-old fashioned belly laughs. Even sitting and praying for others works too. Still working on crying, though. Another day I'll break down. But not today. Thank God for Amazing Grace.


Sensual Sounds is available on http://www.amazon.com/ and http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

Dorothy Loved Bennie

"Dorothy loved Bennie" This is the first line of my poem "Dorothy's Loves", found in my poetry book, Sensual Sounds. Dorothy and Bennie Eanes were my parents. Long before love among African-Americans became the subject of various blogs, talks shows, articles, etc., I witnessed it firsthand for 25 years.

My parents were my first role models of what family, love and respect were within a family structure. Mom and Dad married after a whirlwind, four-month courtship. She was 24 and he 21. I was born the following year. Three sons were born in 11 years.

Everyone who knew my parents always remember little things, like rarely seeing one without the other. Or how my mother was more outgoing, while Dad was more reserved. But there was never a question of how much they loved and supported each other. Mom graduated from college in six years after giving birth to two babies along the way. Dad realized his dream of owning real estate. Both stressed their accomplishments were family achievements. So much more fills my heart as I write this. Like Dad reading bedtime stories or Mom's love of cooking. They weren't perfect. But seeing love and marriage in its many forms is a gift I'll forever cherish.

October 28 is my parents' wedding anniversary. How I long to send a card, take them to dinner or spend the day with them. But Dad was 45 and Mom 51 when death united the newlyweds. Being part of the inspiration for Sensual Sounds is a part of the legacy I have from Bennie and Dorothy. So I'll light a candle, say a prayer and thank God for my memories.

Sensual Sounds is available on http://barnesandnoble.com and http://www.amazon.com.